When life’s throwing you lemons, having the right mindset isn’t always easy. Top that with your negative life attitude and you’re setting yourself up for a catastrophic meltdown. Negative mindsets are hard to shake. But, shaking off yours, maybe the only way you’re going to achieve what you need to achieve.
How can you get back on track?
By Shifting Your Mindset
Finding new ways to control and manage your negative emotions is the key.
My Mindset Shift:
A few years ago, you wouldn’t have met a more negative person than me. I complained daily. You may have even spotted my #100AngryDays Instagram tag. I couldn’t see the world or my life with a positive light…at all! I had debt. Red letters demanding money spilled across my kitchen table and I buried my head in the sand. Then, I ran away, got a job abroad, and suddenly, something shifted.
You know, your circle of friends influence who you become
Leaving the negative life I had at home?
Changed. Everything!
I’ve come to realise, through the years, that the people we choose to spend the most time with have possibly the most impact on how we live our life. They provide influence. Be it good, or bad influences, the people we spend our time with impact our well-being.
Find Your Friends
You can change your path. Quit the shit, dramatic, hopeless friends and family and find your own path. If you have aspirations, find others with the same goals. It is hard. Believe me. But, it can be done. Running away was my answer, but it doesn’t have to be yours.
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Join Some Facebook Groups
Facebook groups are massive right now. From the flat earth society to Mensa International, there’s a group for every brain. Find a group of people with similar interests to yours. I’ve joined a few. Some groups have really helped with mindset, and others? They’re so terrible and negative. It can be hard to navigate and find the best group – but you can do it. Some groups You may find help with your mindset are:
– The Miracle Morning™ Community (for readers of the Hal Elrod Book, which I highly recommend)
– Now Is Your Chance (NIYC) (Again, for readers of the book)
– Coffee With Dan (Dan wrote a book, but I joined this before I read it and it was still super helpful)
There’s a whole ton more. I’ve joined groups about minimalism, veganism, female travel, blogging, endometriosis, psoriasis, Eurocamp, Benicassim Festival – Literally everything that’s in my life. It’s a great way to socialise, gain knowledge and advice, and make new – positive – friends.
But, be careful to not let social media control your life.
Meetup is a platform for like minded people to create “meet up” groups and “lifelong connections”. There are groups for literally everything. Just type in your location, and you will see a list of all the different meet-ups available in your area. I come from a really small village in the South of England and to list just a few groups near there, you’ll find:
- – Southampton 20’s & 30’s Social Meet
- – Life Begins at 40
- – Hampshire Dog Walking Group
- – Winchester Young Professionals
- – Solent Internet of Things Meetup
- – Bournemouth French language exchange
- – Southampton Give It A Go Adventures!
And so many others, for all sorts of interests. Why don’t you pop in your postcode and see what you can find near you?
Other Mindset Switching Hints and Tips
The problem, you may find, while trying to make new friends, is that you’ll still have a negative attitude. Positive people don’t like negativity in their life. So you’re going to either have to “Fake it till you make it” Or follow these handy tips below to help the mindset shift.
These are all tips I’ve implemented in to my own life and I really think you can benefit just as much from them as I have. They’re all easy habits to form and will keep you bright, happy and willing to change in order to get the best out of your day/year/life.
Start Your Day With A Positive Plan
I love planning, keeping notes and jotting ideas. I haven’t always been organised like that, but sometimes your mind just isn’t big enough to store everything you need it to. Sometimes you need to leak your brain on to paper, and that’s ok.
Make a list/plan the night before of EVERYTHING you need to do the next day.
- Prioritise it
- Re-order it
Try to manage your list in timed sections. Make a schedule of the hours to fit each activity, sometimes you’ll go over. Sometimes Under, but it all equals out.
Don’t Forget Breaks
When you’re making a day plan don’t forget to schedule breaks. Doing important activities for hours upon end can be mind numbing and consuming, it will only add to your negativity. Have a look into the Pomodoro method, it’s a productivity technique used by tons of entrepreneurs.
The basic principles are working for a short, set amount of time and taking short breaks in between. I find taking a brisk walk, or even just stopping for a quick tea break a great way to relax.
Drinking (water)
You may have read a post I wrote a few years ago on the importance of staying hydrated. It was a terrible post, but it had an important message. KEEP DRINKING WATER. I truly believe that hydration and breathing (which I’ll discuss later) are two of the most important things you can do for your wellbeing.
I don’t know about you, but I honestly feel awful if I’ve not really drunk much throughout the day. Adding a bottle of water to your handbag if you’re heading out for the day is a great way to stay hydrated. Downloading an app like Water Drink or using your Fitbit to track your water consumption will ensure you know just how much you should be drinking.
Breathing and Meditation
You might a feel a little silly at first, I know I did at first, but you’re really going to benefit. Starting your day with between 3-10 minutes of meditation can really relax your mind. But meditation isn’t as easy as just shutting your eyes and listening to someone talk, it goes deeper. It’s about focus.
But you know, you don’t have to meditate. It is hard for some.
Just take a few minutes each morning to breathe deeply and mindfully. Filling your lungs with oxygen and relaxing your body is so important to start your day positively.
Don’t believe me?
Then give it a try.
Read Positive, Uplifting Books
This is my ULTIMATE positivity booster. Filled with quotes and anecdotes, some of these personal development books hit the nail on the head and can turn your negativeness around in seconds. My personal favourites are:
- The power of self-discipline
- Life Leverage
- The Miracle Morning
- The Goddess Revolution
- Eat That Frog
- Now Is Your Chance
- She Means Business
- How To Be Fucking Awesome
I am so grateful to have discovered these books. Each one is beneficial to different areas in my life. Spending 30 minutes of my morning engrossed in a great book is one of my favourite ways to start a day.
Learn A New Skill
Or better yet?
Upgrade one you currently have.
I’ve been learning French since we moved to France in October and believe me it’s hard. Learning a language has always been something I’ve wanted to do.
What have you always wanted to do? What skills do you already have that you could improve on? What skills will help you feel more accomplished?
I use duolingo to help with my French while I’m away from school, it’s great for help learning languages if that’s what you want to do.
If learning languages isn’t your thing then there are tons of online courses to help you gain skills in any field. You could try looking for a MOOC (massive online open course). I’ve studied on a few different courses from:
Giving To Others
Do you find giving presents at Christmas more fun than opening them? If you’re like me, then you probably can’t wait to give everyone their gifts and want to blow the surprise the second you’ve wrapped it.
Well, that positive feeling should be applied into your life EVERYDAY.
Giving, without receiving fills you with kindness, which in turn fills your mind with positive thoughts. You don’t have to give money, gifts, objects. Just give joy, happiness and positivity to other people. Lift people up when they’re down. Tell someone they’re beautiful when they’re feeling ugly. Brighten the day of someone else and their happiness will reflect onto you.
Exercising And Eating Healthily
Many people wrongly assume that if you exercise and eat well, then you’re on a weight loss diet. They don’t realise there are so many more benefits to it.
I don’t eat to lose weight, I eat to feel healthy and nourished, losing fat is just a bonus.
Your body not only benefits from hitting macro nutrient goals but by getting enough micro nutrients too. If your iron levels are low you’ll feel faint and tired, if your vitamins are low you’ll feel groggy and drained. Different foods affect your body in different ways and can totally change your emotions and thoughts.
Exercise goes hand in hand with eating well. I’ve spoken in the past about how Exercise can really boost your mental health. Hitting targets and achieving goals give you hope and confidence in yourself. I’d be lost without my gym membership.
Accountability
As I discussed at the beginning, having friends with similar goals is really important. One reason why, is so they can keep you accountable. Telling your negative minded friends you enjoy learning about nutrition and reading self development books can be enough to send them to sleep. But don’t lose hope. There are other people totally like you. And if you find your tribe? You’ll have a whole host of friends that can keep you on track towards your goals.
Having someone to help encourage and motivate is really important because although you can do things every day to keep you positive mindset, life has a tendency to bite you on the bum when you least expect it. That’s why you need an accountability partner swooping in to save the day, as you do for them.
I hope these hints and tips can help you on your positivity journey and if you have any other hints and tips, I’d love for you to add them to my accountability group on Facebook.
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